Oh no, there could be danger nearby! Terrible scary overwhelming danger for which you are not prepared. Watch News at 9. Yep that right some talking poster child for why natural selection should be allowed to take place is once again babbling on about the .0001% of people that will be eaten alive by a mold that could be found in their kitchen IF they actually lived in the magical land of Atlantis. We are all so frightened aren’t we. Well OK maybe you are, I am not. Regardless, people watch the news anyway. So stop watching it. You are welcome to print this out and read it anytime you feel the need to learn about some completely ridiculous problem that could be a danger to you, your pets, your parents, your ancestors, your carpets, appliances… you get the idea yet?
1. Who remembers the Iraq Invasion… the second one. We can all agree for the most part it was necessary right. I did say most. Well why did we go? Oh yes, False reports of WMD. I suppose if we hear it often enough we believe it. Still haven’t found any that was 2003. We couldn’t go because he was a dirtbag that needed to be ended? Lay it all out, the guy was bad he did bad things he was going to keep doing them and someone needed to kill his ass so we are going. We likely would have cheered.
2. What about all those news reports about being out alone at night in places and being attacked? Anyone want to guess the stats? Murder, rape even burglary are more likely to be inflicted by a family member or someone you know. Not some random stranger so if you are smart you will live alone and never ever go out with family or friends again. Alleys however should be fine. Not kidding look up the stats.
3. How about H1N1, we all dead yet? Shouldn’t we be if the news from two years ago is to be believed? Maybe that explains all the Zombie sightings.
4. How about all the BS about Osama Bin Laden not being killed by US forces that floated around? Guys dead, fish food. Three Cheers all around.
5. My very favorite is coming, Elections.. woo boy can anyone say Swift Boat? LOL.
So just please, use your heads. I see people get mad about all types of things reported on the news that turns out to be sensationalized bullshit. Watch the news tonight then do some of your own research to verify it. With the elections coming this is a really good habit to get into. The news has become what the National Enquirer was 20 years ago. The only exception being Elvis sightings and alien babies. When did what the people from some reality TV show got arrested for become news? Its just silly.