Valentines Day is coming…. Quick Hide your Wallet!


It’s been called many things by many people… Valentine’s day, Happy Bug Day, Happy I Love You Day and my favorite, Singles Awareness Day which I Called S.A.D irritating the heck out of a former employee of mine <Did I get the name right Melanie?> There are some rules though to this Holiday of Holidays….

The first being don’t be a cheap Bastard. If the Emperor Palpatine hadn’t been such miser maybe his Best Pal Vader wouldn’t have tossed him down the reactor core… Don’t even get me started on the safety violations that allowed that to happen. The fact is though the Valentines before Emperor Palpatines death was the start of the problems in his and Vaders relationship.

Once Again The Emperor is stingy and gets bulk cards!

Now there are more rules of course… One being Don’t make fun of this holiday or the women around you could hurt you. I found this hand comic in the creative commons I thought I would share with you all. It seems to me to be fairly accurate… Of course I am usually in trouble with my Wife for … well for being me really :)Fact is though… “When do the killing begin?” Is a fairly valid question.

See... This is what it is all about!

Next up on the Valentine Holiday rules that are idiotic is this… <yes dear I’m joking I love Valentines day>. Anyway the next rule is this. Flowers are required, I know you haven’t done anything wrong, it doesn’t matter. So Far as I can tell this set of flowers is what causes the others during the year to work when you get in trouble.  They think back to Valentines day when looking at the “I’m Sorry for whatever it is you think I did,” flowers and magically you are forgiven. So get the flowers, even if you cant get anything else, Dig them from the neighbors yard if you need to. If He’s married he will understand, same if hes divorced. Matter of fact If he’s divorced he might tell you “Good thinking, wish I had done that. I might still have my old house!”

This guy is doing it right, hes planning ahead!

Last but not least… Don’t forget it, even the people who are “Celebrating” Singles awareness day will get so pissed you will literally see smoke coming out of their ears if you don’t at the least, wish them a happy Valentines. They may not say anything but if looks could kill…. well you have been warned! Many believe the reports on the St. Valentines Day Massacre as they were printed in ’29 however… I know what really happened those seven guys had told their significant others they weren’t celebrating that year. Those ladies took matters into their own hands. In 1929 no one would have believed it was some ticked off women that did the deed. Now we know better though.. Here is the article in case you want to read what true propaganda looks like.

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2 thoughts on “Valentines Day is coming…. Quick Hide your Wallet!

  1. semplo says:

    Cute – and wise advice to the men folk. We girls really are easy, all it takes is about $20 or less (A grocery store rose & and candy bar) to save your azz that day. lol
    HAPPY VALENTINE”S DAY

    Like

  2. After my wife read this I had to go buy flowers 🙂 Thank you for reading glad you got a chuckle 🙂

    Like

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