I know, I know… many of you don’t live here on Long Island. That’s fine you bitch about gas prices in your small part of the country and I will bitch in mine. If you do live here though, our gas prices are the highest in the Nation. “WE’RE NUMBER ONE, WE’RE NUMBER ONE!!” Feels good doesn’t it. According to a Reuters report a CBS report and half a dozen others were about 38 cents higher as a national average then last year and here on L.I. Prices have been seen as high as $4.59. I saw it myself, pointed, laughed and fond another station at $3.89. Thats a bit crazy, weare 50 cents above the average.
The reasons given are many and varied. None make sense to me, not for the disparity compared to the rest of the country anyway. Since their reasoning is so idiotic to me I thought I would add a few of my own. Just to keep them honest.
1. The Oil Company CEO’s who summer here in the Hampton’s are tired of us making fun of them. They have decided to make it so we can’t leave our homes anymore and interrupt their shopping. They don’t think we should be allowed to shop in the supermarkets when they are out here. <not kidding, true story>
4. The number “3” has been banned by Law Makers on Long Island making it impossible for gas prices to be any lower then they already are. This has the added effect of making it impossible for me to bullet point using the number 3. The image below was brought in from Canada.
5. A troop of giant robots needed fuel in order to replace the energy they used up while putting down the Traffic Cone Liberation fronts most recent attack.They have put up fuel tolls across all bridges.
These sound just as reasonable to me as the other reasons I read about. Plus mine at least make some kind of sense. I love Long Island but if these trends keep up it really will turn into an abandoned old ghost town. Oh wait yah…
6. Long Island is Haunted, truck drivers will no longer deliver because they don’t feel safe from ghosts. The Ghostbusters had been contacted in order to come fix the problem but they couldn’t get on the L.I.E. Only Mercenary Truck drivers now deliver fuel.
- Gas Prices Soaring…What are You Doing?…Water, Water, Not Everywhere (totallyready.com)
- Gas Prices Up 23% Since December (shoppingblog.com)
- Gas Prices Jump To $4 A Gallon (losangeles.cbslocal.com)