Most if not all of the Catholic world is waiting to hear who the new pope is? Well I suppose I am to but, I’d rather have a bit of fun in the meanwhile. Those of you who are likely to be offended by someone mocking your religion… well don’t read anymore. For example, If I were to make the joke to you like this…
“Hey, Did you hear Easter is canceled this year? Seems they found a body.”
If things like that would upset you and cause you to call me a Heretic, or worse, well then stop reading now. That being said, or in this case written lets move on. You see I do admire the Pope. Pope Benedict has done the right thing He’s stepping down because he feels it is the right things to do, for himself, for his flock and for God as well. It’s possible that God told him to do it, I doubt this very much but the world is full of mysteries, and so I admire what has been done. 800 years since the last time a Pope stepped down. Imagine the pressure Pope Benedict was under NOT to do this. I admire that. BUT… I’m me so… Here is who I think should be the new Pope.
#5 Morgan Freeman did such a great job as GOD I think he could be a fantastic Pope! I mean come on, for certain people would be more likely to listen to him when he spoke. After all it is Morgan Freeman.
#4 Dr. Demento, Who better than he an orthodox polka happy smiling laugh a minute kinda guy. The Catholic church could use a sense of humor and I think this guy could be the one to do it. He introduced the world to Weird Al Yankovic and thats worth my vote right there.
#3 Jerry Lewis… Just imagine the telethons that could be run… Catholics could all be Branded as Jerry’s Kids. I wouldn’t mind that at all, would be a very good way to bring up the profile of my faith. No one would every mess with one of Jerry’s kids, priests included. Jerry is a good man who does good works and should be looked up and admired. Thats why he is number 3… cause two and one are set aside for the ridiculous suggestions.
#2 Chuck Norris, who could be better.
# 1 Ian McDiarmid AKA Senator Palpatine, AKA Darth Sidious. After 8 years of Pope/Sith jokes… lets just decide to put McDiarmid in the office and make it official. Even without the makeup he looks the part. The Pope is supposed to have certain God granted abilities… so he should be able to do the job using the force.
Well thats it… I’ll have to see about getting myself a handbasket for the trip I’m going to be making… It’s ok though at least one person who read this agreed with some of it… Even if it was only Chuck Norris… he will get the rest of you in line.
- SI Catholics Await New Pope’s Election (statenisland.ny1.com)
- Black smoke rises as cardinals begin vote for new Pope after plea for unity (thetimes.co.uk)
- How Much do Mobilians Care about the Next Pope? (wkrg.com)