Cool thing I Invented, just talking to myself.

I feel it is important now that we are halfway through the 2017 A to Z Challenge that I let people know exactly what kind of ridiculous stuff normally appears on my blog. I have picked up…well, I think 78 new followers (HI FOLKS!) and it seems only fair to warn them ahead of time. Let me also say, the last few days have been hard for me to get to everyone’s blogs like I had been at the start. For example… It 7pm and I just started looking at all of yours ūüôā

You see while I do love movies, other then making vague references to them and on occasion giving a review on something I just saw. Usually this Blog is my just throwing the crazy out.¬† Sometimes I write about Evil Overlords, Ninja’s, Garden Gnomes, Kitchen Appliance Revolts… you know Life… so here goes —

Appliance Conspiracy


I broke my fingernail on my thumb today. Let’s be more specific shall we? I tore the thingy on my finger that attaches the nail to the finger… the Ummm whatever-ma-thingy, and it hurts. I had to put a Band-Aid on it since I did such a good job crippling myself. I have to tell you, it’s really hard to type this way. I keep hitting more than one key, and since I watch the screen when I type it looks like one big page of red underlines. similar to this. The I go back and click with the mouse to fix it all… since the mouse is fully Band-Aid enabled, no special tools needed.

HYi hterd did uyo knoiw its rellky difficul;t to type wearibn bandaisds?

Image result for bandaid  funny

I have also discovered that it is even harder to use your phone with a Band-Aid covering the what-cha-ma-thingy. The keys are to small for my finger to begin with and touchscreens cant register Band-Aid assisted inputs.

Image result for bandaid thumb

Someone needs to make touchscreen enabled Band-Aids. They can call them Finger-what-cha-ma-thingys… Maybe add some cartoon characters to them or make them SCATCH AND SNIFF…. PERFECT! Scratch and Sniff Finger-what-cha-ma-thingys. Best Idea EVER!!!!

Image result for scratch and sniff funyI did warn you…

I Know You’re Mad at United but… (Thoughts from a Pilot Wife About Flight 3411)

Source: I Know You’re Mad at United but… (Thoughts from a Pilot Wife About Flight 3411)


I know it’s off the A to Z path for the month a bit, but… its worth a read especially considering we always, only, get whatever the media feels is the most sensational parts.

Ides of March

On this possibly inaccurate day in history Julius Caesar was stabbed in the back by his friends and advisors. He was warned of the threat but chose not to take it to seriously. That’s is an assumption on my part since, well, he did die.


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Beware is a great word!


People are treacherous and it takes on a life of it’s own once begun. Wondering what would happen if, and then talking to others about it can have serious repercussions. It’s not always just a “what if” to certain disturbed individuals. Backstabbing, which is really what happened to poor old Julius has been taken down a notch now to simple trash talking behind someone else’s back, that’s where it comes from though. Social media and the news have taken it all to an entirely new level though.


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New Facebook Like?


Wanting to make the world a better place by hanging the Dictator in question from the yardarm, or defenestrating the king can have serious repercussions down the line. No one likes the backstabbing when it happens but everyone allows it. I think it’s an unavoidable truth of this world now, which is sad. Sharpen those knives folks, its National backstabbing month… Odd how march is immediately followed up with “Just Kidding” day on April first…

Don’t do this. Killing Other People’s Character’s!

I recently had the great joy of Driving with my wife and younger Daughter to go look at a College she was invited to attend.¬† A four hour drive wasn’t bad, we all happen to have odd but complimentary senses of humor.¬† We sang a bit and tried teaching her more road trip car games like, license plate bingo. This changed to why kids don’t play road trip games. I won that one since the Daughter wasn’t listening, she was distracted by her iPhone. (Grin).

Trip was good, drive was pleasant, singing off key… all normal.¬† Every time we passed a sign for a college or university I would ask loudly “It’s this school right?” and would get a response involving why she can’t or won’t go there. Some of the answers were crazy, “I’m not blind”, “I think that place is made up”. Things like that.

I’m getting to the point… relax there Skippy.¬† What I was saying was this. I had an engaged and fun drive and it was more like five hours. Only to get there and be bored out of my skull.¬† There are only so many of the same conversations I can have with parents all excited about what they are doing. I’m not excited I’m sad… My Daughter whom I adore is leaving, sure she’ll come back but she won’t be… not really, not ever. I didn’t want to be sad, or bored so Instead I made up “Jasper”.

My son Jasper was born¬†five minutes into the cocktail hour from whole cloth and my imagination. Jasper Is a Symphonic Orchestra Major, since he loves Parades… You heard me… It doesn’t have to make sense. Jasper Picked the school because the school is named after a fictional TV show character… yep that’s right, That’s how my second Son rolls. No No, he didn’t get a scholarship and the school really doesn’t offer the classes he needs but he does so Love that TV show so this is where he is going… yep. He’s daring and¬†dashing and going to take the world by storm even with his self imposed handicaps of wrong classwork and no scholarship. Why you ask…?

Becaauaaase I was bored and wanted to change the responses I got from the parents… It didn’t change though. My Daughter who is going to be a Librarian, the Best Librarian ever by the way. She planned and thought everything out ON HER OWN. She’s intelligent, witty, resourceful and an all around WINNER. She is deserving of all she gets since she has earned it and worked for it.. Jasper was made up and got the same responses.

How’s that for an Outside Perception. People respond in similar ways to similar stimuli. “That’s Fantastic”, “Good For her/him”, “You must be so proud!” yes, yes I am, because in addition to the things I already said about my Daughter she’s also an original… luckily she doesn’t bow to peer pressure and will remain true to herself a fun loving person who thinks what I did was funny.

Good Luck Kiddo we all await your decision, thank god you have better reasoning then your second brother.


Oh and her Mom, while also thinking it was funny thought it was OK to Kill Jasper off….. That’s some serious Bullshit.. hence the title of the post.


The End.



Customer and the Door of Doom.

I must say, we do get some interesting happenings within the four walls that used to ¬†encompass my¬† retail working¬†domain. One day though… something happened, something funny. I’m not sure how many of you are aware¬†of the¬†deactivation pads for the sensor strips. For those of you that don’t a bit of instruction. My store put little tags on things… little white magnetic tags. Magical Tags… they helped identify the evil stealers.
Once a product is tagged it will make the pillars of justice (the sensors) scream like a little who kid who just dropped their ice cream Cone. It is loud, lights up and on occasion makes some of our older customers pacemakers skip a beat. Image result for Retail Security Sensors
To avoid the death of our patrons we had small deactivation pads that turn off the magnetic tattletales so the pillars wont scream at people. Sadly… on large objects we can’t turn the tags off. You see, these pads are under the monitor in¬†a small nook. Not much gets under there and to be honest, sometimes we forget. This particular day though… I forgot… Very nice lady came in for a cordless phone battery. We chat a bit while I figure out which one and get her settled. She ended up getting some batteries for around the house too. I had some inexpensive headphones on the counter and she decides she would like those as well. All totaled $52 and some change, I get her email for her bounce back coupon, ring her up and wish her a great day. Off she goes, until…


The pillars go off, just as she hits the second door… the one we keep locked. At this point I am heading toward her and telling her it’s alright. She is still pushing on the door, the one that won’t open, pillars still screeching away.¬† When I reach her I tell her everything is fine, apologize for the noise and wish her a good day as “I” open the door for her. She says thank you and complements us on the amazing security system we have. She has never been in a place that the door locks when the security system goes off…

If only we could get a cage to drop from the sky as well. I don’t miss most of retail… but sometimes…



X-Plan: Giving your kids a way out (#xplan)

(As seen on The Today Show, Good Housekeeping, HerViewFromHome, ScaryMommy, The Huffington Post, Mamamia, MomsEveryday, and numerous social and news media outlets. UPDATED ‚Äď 3/3/2017) Friends‚Ķ

Source: X-Plan: Giving your kids a way out (#xplan)


I have done something Similar with my Kids. My Mother did something Similar with me and Mr. Fulks took it to a whole new level. I encourage you to go take a look at his Blog and implement this for your family.

I Hate That Guy!

In my many years of life on this Blue Marble floating through the void, I have come to the conclusion that we all have a Nemesis. The person changes from time to time, dependent on life and work.¬† Here is the situation; guy at work SUCKS. So far so good right? Maybe Gal at work.¬† They never actually do anything. They talk all the time. They say inane thing like, “Yeah, but. What if…” They are self-promoting, asshats with delusions of grandeur. When they do something wrong it was never them, but “those” other people.¬† Accountability, they scorn it. Responsibility they ignore it. However, they are loved by all but you. So you stew, quietly in your own juices and wish they were pelted by feces thrown from a pair of rabid monkeys on hand just for that purpose.

Image result for monkeys fling pooI do have some helpful advice for you on this matter.¬†Really, that is why you come here isn’t it, weird advice.¬† Wish this person well… talk them up, get them the hell away from wherever it is you are stuck together.¬† Tell his boss, take out an ad, rent a billboard. Whatever it takes… Learn smoke signals if need be.¬†Then when he gets the new job and is moving on let them brag about it.¬† Let them boast and chide you for your failures never knowing it was you who helped them on their way. This is how you be¬†the better person.

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Or… you know… Actually hire the poo flinging monkeys, I hear they work cheap.